A lesson from the North Shore.

Summer 2014.
Northern MN.
North Shore amazingness.

Two Harbors. Light house. Rowling waves crashing into the rocks.
I watched. It was endless. Relentless. The waves.

I walked to the end of the rocks and glided my hand over a rock. It was so smooth. No jaded edges.
The result of hours, days, weeks, years of countless waves running over each rock. Over and over.

I couldn't help but think of the lessons to learn from such a view.

I encounter strangers everyday.
I encounter co-workers.
I encounter friends.
I encounter family.
I encounter acquaintance.

I face so many individuals, which I have the chance to be water.

You see, in each day individuals are like rocks. We can be jaded. Rough around the edges. Many of us sometimes don't handle each others edges too well. We then become jaded ourselves. Possibly even injured.

Like the relentless waves, I too wonder what it looks like to be relentless in others lives.

What does consistency in love look like?
Consistency in honor, respect, and commitment?
Even if nothing is returned.

So I wonder. How do I become a relentless wave.

A Veteran's gift to me.

On days such as these (Veteran's Day) - so many take the time to remember the call, the sacrifice, and the courage many men and women took to fight for freedom.

I am incredibly blessed. In that, everyday I have a front row seat to the stories of accomplishments, tears, pain, suffrage, victory, defeat - from each veteran I care for in each day.
Many times, I don't have the answer for their questions, for their anger, for their fear, or for their future. Many times I'm overwhelmed at their stories. You see, many of these Veteran's have seen, heard, experienced situation that I will never even dream of facing. And these experiences have shaped their emotions, spiritual person, and mindset in ways that can be uplifting and in ways that have left them in a complete construction zone.

Two weeks into my internship in the Summer of 2013. My patient, a WWII veteran, kind, compassionate, and full of stories. My young, new nursing brain - focused on: Do my head to toe assessment, notice, ask the right questions, make sure IV looks good, his he alert, his he oriented, blood pressure ok, pulse look good, and the list goes on as I entered the patients room. I notice a picture on his bedside table. Iwo jima. He asked me to sit and if he could share a story. He began to tell me about that day, the famous picture, and each man holding onto the American flag as it flew high. Each man, their story, their family, the impact they had on his life and their sacrifice. He said, "I don't know how I was so blessed to survive, raise a family, and give back...but I was and now I wish you the same blessing." He took my hand and placed a three-leaf clover in the palm of my hand. "I don't believe you need luck, but I truly wish you luck in your nursing career." I wish I could say I had some beautiful words to give back to him...all I could manage was tears, a big hug, and thank-you.

This clover sits in my name badge. I am forever impacted by this Veteran's words. And his challenge. I am blessed to live out my dreams, touch others lives, and fight for the rights of each of my patients.

How has your life been changed because of a Veteran? What are you doing because of that change?

So many words.

As I biked through the beautiful fall leaves, a piece of paper caught my eye. Picking up the dirt filled, torn page I tried to make out some form of plot as I read the torn paragraphs. The words rose off the page as I read, "You won't get a word out of me."

I let my mind visit the thought of 'words.'

Each letter. each word. each paragraph.

Words are powerful.
They are inspiring. truth filled. used for lies.
Words stir emotion. Silence a crowd.
Bring hearts together.
Words create meaning.
Words give knowledge. wisdom.

You can build others. You can tear them down. You can share. You can hide.
You can shed light. You can guide. You can lead.

One word.
Two words.
One-thousand words.

Use your words to create beauty. create meaning. create what you wish the world to be.

Words.

Be truth.

Dear car, please BACK UP.

“WOW! If he was riding any closer, I’d have a new bumper!”

“Are you kidding me…get off my back!” 

“BACK UP!” 

You ever scream one of these at the car behind you? 

This was my situation on the way to work. One slam on the brakes. That ford would have been in my trunk! At first, was more annoying, but it quickly turned into frustration, anxiety, and anger. 

Why does this car feel the need to be this close. 

Are they in a hurry? 

Do they have not have a bubble? 

My mind started racing with questions as my frustration grew. 

It all changed. My mind was instantly stripped of the frustration with a thought. 

What does it look like for others to be walking that closely to my life?

What do they see? How close are they? 

Are those God calls me to be Him, frustrating?  Needy? Messy? 

Do they push my buttons? 

A few years I had the opportunity to take a class called CORE through my church. 

Week 4: Dust: being a disciple of Jesus. 

During this week we were introduced to the history of Jewish Eduction. 

A Rabbi (a teacher) would find an apprentice. This apprentice would dive into the books or more formally was called the house of books. Next, the house of learning. After these two phases a Rabbi would ask them to study with them, follow them, and watch every aspect of their life. 

They would follow them close. So close, the dust of the rabbi would be found on the apprentice. 

WOW! 

First, do I follow Christ this close. Do others see the dust? 

Secondly, do I, do we allow others this close. 

Being intentional. 

Being available. 

Being willing to get messy. 

Being vulnerable. 

Being close. 

Do others see the dust? 

Do you allow others close. To teach. To build up. To encourage. 

"Let it go, Let it go..."

Let it go, let it go

Can't hold it back anymore

Let it go, let it go

Turn away and slam the door!

Let it go, let it go

I am one with the wind and the sky

Let it go, let it go

You'll never see me cry. 

Here I stand and here I'll stay

Let the storm rage on! 

(Walt Disney Records: Produced by: Kirsten Anderson-Lopez & Robert Lopez)

Words memorized by thousands.

Words lived out by thousands. 

Thousands inspired by words. 

These words ring out through my speakers. Thoughts flood my mind as I think of several things that I could let go, turn away and slam the door! Your thoughts race to areas you too could let go, turn away, and slam the door! What is that for you? 

Lies. Fears. Insecurities. 

I listened to a song today that took a different approach to singing out let it go. 

Celebrate His love by Bethel Church. 

From my inmost parts, living water flows

It cannot stay contained

I most let it go

Let it go, let it go

Let it go, let it go

Celebrate His grace

Rise up my soul

To shout His praise

Like Princess Elsa, we all have things that hurt and we let go. 

Yet, we all have things we can give, we celebrate, and can't help but let go!
Do you ever get to a point of excitement that you SCREAM? - okay maybe that's just me! 
But you are so full, you pour out with emotions! You let go of what is happening in the inmost part of you to be shared by the world around you! 

What if that type of excitement and zeal is what we let go? 

What if my attention, what if your attention was letting go (giving) of love in such purse, beautiful ways...instead of what steals our time (lies, insecurities, fears, (insert your word)...) that we so desperately sing out, "let it go." 

How then do you sing, "Let it go?" 

Let others around you feel the joy, beauty, and grace your letting go can produce!

Take a listen. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f1w1zfZzVJ4

Live NOW and not WHEN.

The sun hits the horizon, my legs feel as rubbery as the tires on your car, my sides feeling the increase in oxygen demand, as my brain and heart take in God's still small voice. Each step on my run, moments to reflect on my day. Letting go of the concerns, worries, and doubts. Moments to give God and well you know burn a few calories too.

As my feet carried me from side streets, to main roads, to paths, the music and lyrics rang in my heart, "In your presence Lord, I will find my strength, my everything, my one desire." "I will find you in the place I'm in." As I turned a corner, a white pickup gently glided past. Within a few moments, it was no longer in sight. There I was, still on the same street, same houses to pass, and keeping a good pace. However, I was already wishing my location was the distance of the white truck.

How many times do I do this throughout my day? Wishing away the now moments for the "when" moments. Watching others, what seems like gliding gently through life, living out dreams, and finding adventures. I watch them as they drive out of sight onto their adventure as I continue to run the trail I'm on, slowly. However, something beautiful happened while I took in the environment I was in. The details of the sky, trees, and faces around me. The moment to be so full from God's creation, to lift my hand in praise to a God who knows each detail! Life was happening now! My pace, yes so different than yours. Yet, beautifully designed, orchestrated, and lead. I was able to embrace the now moment and realize the "when" moments will come.

So I'm living now. 

Messy children.

5 hours. 
3 children. 
2 lessons. 

The sun was shinning, the wind calm, and three children ready to sink their toes into the summer grass. We naturally, forgot our shoes, sunscreen, and ice water, for the excitement in each of their hearts exceeded our logic. Before we know it, the neighbor has his small motorized plan sailing in the blue summer sky. The 1 year old squeals with excitement, raises her arms to me, and explains, "up!" I pick her up as she points to the airplane. All three children and I quicken our pace as we follow the neighbor to the open field. He flies the plane back and forth over head. At each pass, the 1 year old in my arms shouts, points, and screams, "aeworpwane!" I began to count the number of times the airplane passes, gauging her excitement. To my amazement, her level of excitement never changed. It was as if she had never experienced the sound or sight of such an object. Mesmerized by its ability to cut through the skies, her focus, attention, and excitement never changed. 

Oh how life should be lived. With excitement, focus, and passion for each moment. Even in the moments I have already experienced and seen, how can I still live in that moment with passion and joy? With each passing "airplane" may my focus, attention, and passion be true. 

After the plane settled on the ground, the joyful, livable one year old decided her stomach now needed attention. Three handfuls of grapes and a half banana later, she was content. We sat, facing the bright, warm sun as she finished. The next moment, she was up and ready to hit the back patio step ascending into the second level of the house. Her little hand reach out for mine, left over grapes, dirt, grass, and banana and all. I instantly took her hand into mine with no thought to the mess that occupied it. The care for her safety and the joy to hold such a precious hand overtook any mess her little hands could hold. Two minutes later, a clear wash cloth, and water refreshed both our hands. 

Immediately, I realized I had been reminded of the gospel, the love, and price my Savior paid for freedom, grace, and new life. No matter my past, my wrongs, my sin, my ugly, the mess on my hands...Christ reached and held my hand with no second thought to my mess. You see, He cares for me. He cares for my heart, its safety, and the joy of guiding my hand. He has the time, the clean cloth, and water to wash away the mess as if it was never there. 

1. Live with excitement for each moment. 
2. You are made clean. Never to far out of reach. Never to messy. 

Lessons from a child. 

Love is like.

"Your life as a Christian should make nonbelievers question their disbelief in God." - unknown. 

or does...

Your life as a Christian confirm why nonbelievers question their disbelief in God?

Many question their own belief in God, due to the way they have been judge, treated, and handled by "Christians".Then they react and make decisions based on the hurt, scars, insecurities, and doubts created in their hearts. Finding substitutes, they begin to fill the empty places of their heart with the intent to block out the pain. And begin to distance themselves from those "Christians". Haven't I done the same?

My mind and heart races to the many pages filled with how Christ loved, invited, and challenge here on earth. Story after story tells of a man who touched the untouchable and loved the unlovable. Those who would never step into a "church," those he embraced (Zacchaues - Luke 9:1-10). Those who felt dirty and labeled the "sinner," the "rebel," or those "people," those were the ones Jesus was drawn to most (woman caught in adultery - John 8:1- 11). Its as if I can almost hear Christ say to the women, "Where are your accusers? Who has condemned you? I do not condemn you, go and sin no more." Can you imagine at your most ugly, at your most low moment - Christ says to you...I do not condemn you. My heart is overwhelmed by that type of grace, love, and forgiveness.

Yet, my heart breaks for we who claim to be Christians and yet do not love. Do not give grace. Do not forgive.

Love is of many things. It is what is kind, patient, never envying, boasting, it is not rude or insisting on its own way. It is what rejoices with those who rejoice and mourn with those who mourn. It is what never ends.

Those around you know your life in Christ by the way you love and by the fruit you bear. In so many words, Christ said, hey there is a new way we will be living! A new commandment. Love one another: just as I have loved you. When you do this people will noticed, be changed, and experience why I came. (John 13:34-35).

That is what love is like.

Expectations.

"I lay my requests before you and wait in expectation." Psalm 5:3

Spoken, unspoken we all have expectations. 

Expectations for us. for others. for our day. for the week. for the future. 
Expectations for love. forgiveness. joys. defeats. emotions. rest. 
Expectations drive the force of movement.

A force which can create change, impact, and healing. 
A force that can create a hurricane of sorrow, distrust, and hurt. 

How do we handle expectations? How do we use them to drive our passion, zeal, and love for the breath we have been given? How do we use them to bring restoration? 

Wait. patience. 

For I lay my request, my expectations before His throne and wait in expectation! I'm not to worry, to fret, or become fearful for what is to come! I am to wait and expect the love, faithfulness, and grace from the One who loves me for me. 

May whatever you expect in this moment, be a moment to lay it down and wait in expectation.